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  • Writer's pictureWalker Stewart

3/8/2021: WWE Monday Night RAW Results, Reviews, and Realities

Updated: Apr 4, 2021

Note: This article was originally posted on Blade Job Pro Wrestling.


Another Monday, another night of RAW. Airing from the WWE ThunderDome in Florida, USA, it is time for the longest-running episodic television in history - it's time for Monday Night RAW!


 

"16 Years, Sarah."


Now that Bobby Lashley is your WWE Champion, Sarah Schreiber approached The Hurt Business asking for a word with the new world champion. Bobby Lashley discusses the sixteen years of "scratching and clawing" to earn what he deserves - and the WWE Champion is here to stay. "The Almighty" Bobby Lashley vows to walk into WrestleMania as the WWE Champion.


Grade: A

Walker's Words: This promo was a strong showing from Lashley, and I am very excited to see what's next!


 

The Miz Cuts A Promo


We cut to The Miz, along with John Morrison, who make their way down to ringside. The Miz is fired up tonight, furious after his devastating title loss on last week's Monday Night RAW. The Miz is furious at Shane McMahon, who forced him to defend the title properly instead of allowing for the champion to utilize "Champions Advantage." The Miz admitted that Champions Advantage is shady, but it is there for a reason (ironically, The Miz isn't in the wrong here.) Miz says he expected to be brutalized by Lashley in their encounter but also expected to walk out as WWE Champion. Despite this, it is announced that Lashley will defend the championship against The Miz next on RAW, and after this match, the world will have a new hashtag to tweet: #AndNew WWE Champion, The Miz.


Grade: A

Walker's Words: If you can show me one unsuitable Miz promo from this past year, I will eat my hat (and I love my hat!) I am a huge fan of The Miz. He does an incredible job at putting himself, his opponent, and the situation over. This promo made me very excited for this re-match.


 

WWE Championship Match: Bobby Lashley (c.) vs. The Miz


We start off with Bobby Lashley's entrance, which we see has been revamped for his new shiny belt! Lashley's entrance now has this very cool lightning effect that definitely gives a "final boss" element to him. The bell rings and The Miz immediately dives out of the ring. This match was fairly one-sided for the most part. Miz had his moments of brilliance where one could have bought into the idea of him winning but in the end, everybody falls to the Hurt Lock. This, of course, includes The Miz. Bobby Lashley submitted The Miz to retain his WWE Championship in 9:05.


Grade: C+

Walker's Words: This was not hard to sit through by any means. both of these men entertain me and I am glad to see them working together. However, the lack of continuity here is the biggest problem facing Monday Night RAW in 2021. It was never explained as to why The Miz received a rematch for his championship. Shane McMahon himself was the one to originally abolish the "guaranteed rematch clause" from kayfabe WWE title match contracts. I don't understand why this match happened, and I am not entirely certain if either man was elevated from it. It felt like having a world championship match for the sake of having a world championship match. Furthermore, this match suffered from poor card placement. The biggest prize in the wrestling industry should not be contended for in a 9-minute random match on the opening segment of your show.


 

Drew McIntyre is Furious; Sheamus Attacks


After the match-up, Drew McIntyre asks what everyone is thinking: "Why in the hell did The Miz just receive a championship rematch over Drew McIntyre?" McIntyre cuts a fiery promo about how he has his sights set on the WWE Championship. He wants his baby back, and he is coming for it. Before McIntyre could emphatically conclude his promo, he is attacked from behind by Sheamus who rehashes Braun Strowman's old "I'm not finished with you" line. Sheamus leaves McIntyre lying on the floor and storms off. Drew McIntyre finds Adam Pearce backstage and demands a No-DQ match tonight on RAW. Adam Pearce looks shocked, but later in the night, it is made official.


Grade: B+

Walker's Words: This segment was very exciting. I love seeing a "pissed off" Drew McIntyre (for lack of a better term,) and I am happy that they are continuing the Sheamus-McIntyre feud in some way past Elimination Chamber (where we didn't see much of a blowoff in the slightest.) I am very hopeful for the future of this feud!



 

R-Truth Issues a Formal Apology to Braun Strowman


After the violent beatdown that just ensued, we see R-Truth approach Braun Strowman backstage. R-Truth admits that he has some things to get off his chest, apologizing for a multitude of things. This list includes, but is not limited to: "his feelings for Lola Bunny," "being mean to Hornswoggle," and "digging an escape hole under the ThunderDome." Braun Strowman tells R-Truth that he didn't want to hear his apology, he was on his way to demand a real apology from The Best in the World, Shane McMahon, after Shane embarrassed Strowman on last week's RAW when he forced him to tag with WWE Official Adam Pearce. R-Truth attempted to wipe the memory of Braun Strowman with some Men in Black shenanigans and runs off.


Grade: C+

Walker's Words: Admittedly, R-Truth comedy can be fairly hit or miss for me. However, this was a direct hit and my battleship has been sunk (and I am happy about it!) I do find it strange that the big bastardly Braun Strowman is demanding an apology because his "feelings were hurt" by some son-of-a-billionaire, but hey, maybe Braun has a sensitive side we're going to witness soon. This segment did feel weird at times, but what happened next was a whole lot weirder.


 

Braun Strowman Wants an Apology


Braun Strowman makes his way down to ringside and grabs a microphone to ask Shane McMahon if he thinks "that this is some kind of joke." Braun Strowman showcases his insecurity as a man by not being capable of taking a loss that he was barely involved in... and we're supposed to cheer this guy? Talk about a sore loser.


Strowman continues to call out Shane McMahon until suddenly, Shane McMahon's music hits and he dances to the ring. That was a strange change of pacing. Shane McMahon gets into the ring, gets straight in Strowman's face, and bluntly states: "I apologize." Shane McMahon then leaves the ring and walks down the aisle. His music stops, he pauses as if to say something further... and then walks backstage.


Grade: C-

Walker's Words: Why? That was such a weird segment and left me with more questions than answers, and I don't mean that in a good way. We'll discuss this further in a segment involving these two later on... Sheesh.



 

No-Disqualification Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus


Sheamus makes his way down to ringside, and before he can let a good "FELLLLAAAA" out of his mouth, Drew McIntyre attacks him from behind. Admittedly, with this match being no-disqualification, I am disappointed at the lack of sword attacks I witnessed in this one. (If AEW can make Barbed Wire explode, Sheamus can sell for a huge sword Vince found in his office, brother.) This match was hard-hitting and hellacious; there are no two ways about it. I encourage everyone to go out of there to watch this one on Monday Night RAW. It was eighteen minutes of solid no DQ action. The match ends when Sheamus and Drew McIntyre both had steel steps in hand and utilized them as battering rams which led to a double knockout via referee stoppage in 18:10.


Grade: A-

Walker's Words: Boy, oh boy, do I hate when professional wrestling matches lack conclusive endings? Yes, sir, I do. However, do I feel that this finish was completely justified and added to my hype in witnessing the blow-off for this match? Yes, sir, I do! This match was exactly what you would want from a Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre clash, and it definitely woke me up for the rest of RAW. The following segments would, of course, lead me to regret that. I am excited for the future of this program, though!


 

AJ Styles Antagonizes Randy Orton


We see a recap video of the spooky "Randy Orton spitting up viscous fluid" fiasco before we move backstage to AJ Styles, with big Omos, being interviewed by a debuting Kevin Patrick! Kevin Patrick was a sports analyst for Fox News that now works with World Wrestling Entertainment, so congratulations to him! AJ Styles asks if we're just going to sit here and ignore what happened with Randy Orton, and begins to laugh about the misfortune Orton has been experiencing. Orton walks into frame and asks Styles "is a man's mind being messed with funny to you?" Styles replies "not funny... weak." Orton offers him a match for later in the night and Styles accepts.


Grade: D+

Walker's Words: I love AJ Styles. I love Randy Orton. I did not like this segment. Something about this segment felt odd to me, and I don't understand why they are rehashing this. I am bored. When do I get to write about AEW: Dynamite?


 

Shelton Benjamin vs. Xavier Woods


Next up, it appears we are brewing a feud being The Hurt Business and The New Day again. I am excited about this, actually! In this match, we have Shelton Benjamin taking on Xavier Woods (the latter of which is rocking some incredible Mortal Kombat inspired gear, which is always a treat!) This match was a quick one. Shelton has an overwhelming amount of offense until Xavier Woods rolls up Shelton Benjamin for the pinfall in 3:45. It is announced that next week on RAW, The Hurt Business will be defending the WWE RAW Tag Team Championships against The New Day.


Grade: C

Walker's Words: This was a serviceable match that is building up to the tag team championship match next week. There were some good-looking spots. Nothing incredible or crazy, though. Easy on the eyes.

 

Non-Title Match: Riddle (c.) vs. Slapjack


Before this match, we witness an interview in gorilla position with Riddle. Riddle is asked how he feels he is going to fair against his upcoming opponent, however, Riddle is more worried about where he is going to park his scooter. Last time Riddle parked his scooter in the ThunderDome, he got a ticket. If he brings it out to ringside, Ali is going to break it! This is, of course, the same mental battle I find myself in whilst finding parking on my college campus (thank you, University of Oklahoma!) The New Day make their way into gorilla position after their match, and Riddle asks them to park his scooter. Kofi Kingston, specifically, is way too excited about this scooter. However, this leads to a very entertaining pre-match promo.


Before this match, we discover that Riddle will defend the WWE United States Championship against Mustafa Ali. Riddle and Slapjack start off with some high-impact maneuvers. It feels like they're trying to cram a lot into what little time they had. The match ends with Riddle pinning Slapjack after landing the Bro Derek in 3:55. Post-match, Mustafa Ali yelled at Slapjack talking about how he pinned Riddle clean on RAW last week.


Grade: C+

Walker's Words: Again, another serviceable match. Nothing crazy. This match gets an incremental grade higher than The New Day match because it reminded me just how good Shane Thorne is, and how he doesn't deserve to be thrown in the Slapjack role. Either way, the man is working, and that's better than nothing. #GiveUsMoreSlapjack


 

Shane McMahon Trolls Braun Strowman


We see a backstage segment where Adam Pearce asks Shane McMahon what he was going to say to Braun Strowman. McMahon calls Pearce "nosy" and requests that Strowman be brought to the ring. He has something else to say. From here, RAW goes off the rails.


Shane McMahon brings Strowman down to the ring. McMahon goes on to fake microphone issues, pace awkwardly around the ring, breathe really heavily into the microphone, and call Braun Strowman stupid without actively calling him stupid. It was the most middle school bully form of insulting an individual. "Some might refer to you as stupid, but I never would... but most people would say that to you." Shane spends an uncomfortable amount of time pausing. This is the definition of getting gassed from a promo, but somehow it's... worked?! After enough stalling, Strowman begins to chase after McMahon, who hightails it backstage and gets into a vehicle and drives off, leaving Strowman to continue his chase.


Plot twist: Shane never drove off in the vehicle, and Braun looks really stupid. What a surprise.


Grade: F

Walker's Words: What on God's green earth just happened? How do I explain this segment to a non-wrestling fan? Shane McMahon just trolled the hell out of Braun Strowman and I don't understand why. Is it just funny to him? Is that the gimmick? I'm uncomfortable. Please stop breathing so heavily, Shane. I can only handle so much.


 

WWE Women's Tag Team Championship Match: Nia Jax (c.) and Shayna Baszler (c.) vs. Lana and Naomi


After Reginald has burnt every bridge on this aforementioned green earth, Reginald is now the sommelier of Nia Jax. Lana and Naomi earned this tag team championship match after defeating Natalya and Tamina on RAW. This match was very meaningless and difficult to sit through. Ouch. Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler defeated Lana and Naomi in 8:00.


Grade: D

Walker's Words: When will the pain end?



 

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton


This match was not incredible action by any means of the word. My energy in this half of the article is reminiscent of my energy watching the product. Let's get to the finish. Randy Orton is in control until Alexa Bliss appears on the titantron winding a music box. She puts it down, and Randy Orton spits up more black viscous fluid. AJ Styles hits the Phenomenal Forearm and pins Orton for the win.


I am in pain. Oh my god, please.


Why?


Grade: ??

Walker's Words: Huh?!



 

Overall Grade: D


Watching this show made my life shorter, and I am pretty over it. I tend to be the more level-headed commentator on The Blade Job Pro Wrestling team, but holy Lord, this show got progressively worse as time went on. I can not review this show any longer. God help us all. When will WWE bite the bullet and make RAW two hours? Wow.



 

Did I miss something? Do you agree/disagree with a take of mine? Let me know in the comments below or reach out on Twitter @BladeJobPW!


Thank you for reading! Find me on social media below!


Walker "WalkurLIVE" Stewart

Co-Founder, Writer, Podcast Host


Twitter: @WalkurLIVE

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